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Our levels of acceptance fluctuates during the working-through process. When we have a setback we get caught up in our old ways of thinking and feeling. Some people may again start to doubt they have the disorder, and begin to worry that the diagnosis may be incorrect.

Non-acceptance means we are only making the situation worse for ourselves. We all have periods of doubt about the diagnosis. If this does happen it is important to go back and talk with our doctor.

Compounding this doubt are the anxiety symptoms and how they change. Once we get on top of one symptom, another one takes its place. Any new symptom needs to be checked by our doctor, and sometimes we may feel like a hypochondriac. However, it is more important for us to know what the new symptoms are, instead of continually worrying. If we are told the new symptom is another anxiety symptom, we need to accept the diagnosis and not get caught in the vicious circle again.

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A general guideline is to allow an infant about five or six months old to establish her own sleep habits. By then, most children have the neurological maturity to sleep more soundly. When your child is between fur and six months old, begin to encourage the sleep association you value.

The following is a discussion of the sleep associations that most commonly cause problems.

Feeding. The child who is nursed or fed to sleep learns to need the calming that comes from eating, sucking, and being held. If she rouses during the night, she will call for more of the same. She may also wake seeming “rested” with a burp after 20 minutes, but she will not be establishing dependable routines.

As she loses that newborn drowsiness, begin to keep her awake during feedings (easier said than done for some babies) or purposely rouse her while laying her down so that she knows she is falling asleep in her own bed, not in your arms.

Sucking. Pacifiers help some children settle themselves to sleep. Be aware that their use after ‘about three or four months means that this habit will eventually need to be unlearned.

Rocking. Rocking is a pleasant, calming experience for both child and parent, but it can be a strong sleep association. One alternative is to rock a child to soothe and lull him, but not put him into a full sleep. Or rock until it ceases to be soothing—perhaps at four or five months with the sociable child, or later, as mobility increases, when she squirms to get down to play.

Children love to “nest”—that is, move around in bed until it feels just right. If we confine them by rocking, walking, or whatever, we deny them this winding down pleasure. If you are a “pillow fluffer” yourself, you will understand.

Loveys. Many children become attached to special blankets, stuffed anim or toys. “Loveys” make it easier to sleep without parents. To avoid the pai of a lost or forgotten lovey, make more than one available (buy matchi blankets) or make it so general that a replacement might not be noticed.

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They will not develop if you change your position often, keep dry, put some sort of padding over these danger points and get someone to massage them briskly, often. All of that is easier said than done. It is not much fun to change your position often if you are in pain and especially if there is only one position that is really comfortable for you. It is hard to change position often if you are partly paralysed or so weak that you can’t do it without help. It is hard to keep dry if you are incontinent. It can be fiddly to try to arrange padding over your danger points. You might feel reluctant to ask busy nurses, friends, or relatives to spend time helping you to change position and rubbing any sore areas to help restore a brisk circulation. However, it is worth taking all of this seriously. Things are likely to be even more difficult for you if you do develop a pressure sore, because then you won’t be able to sit or lie in the position that produced your sore at all!

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