STRESS: SELF-SABOTAGING ATTITUDES
These raise the stress levels. Avoid these:
1. ‘Life, the world and others should provide me with everything I require to be happy, and if it and they don’t, it’s terrible and I can’t stand it.’
2. ‘One should be dependent on others. I must have someone strong to lean on.’
3. Things must go my way. It is terrible, awful and unbearable when they don’t.’
4. ‘People should treat me fairly at all times because I treat all others fairly. If they don’t, they are damnable and should be severely punished.’
5. ‘I must at all times be loved and approved of by all those who are significant in my life.’
6. ‘I must be successful and achieve at all tasks. If I fail, I’m worthless and useless.’
7. ‘All human unhappiness is caused by external events. Humans are victims of circumstance.’
8. ‘I must feel anxious about perceived threats, be they real or imagined. I must ponder the possibility of their occurrence.’
9. ‘It is easier to avoid than face self-responsibility and life difficulties.’
10. ‘I should upset myself over the problems and disturbances of others.’
The words ‘should’, ‘ought’ and ‘must’ engender attitudes of inflexibility. They are demands that set us up for a life of frustration which, in time, leads to significant emotional disturbance. The world is impartial and does not respond to the demands of individuals. Substituting the words ‘I prefer’, ‘it would be nice’, ‘I would like’ (preferences), will do away with the emotional disturbance and the raised stress levels caused by ‘should’, ‘ought’ and ‘must’.
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Tags: Allergies